1953

The haberdashery has a new batch of buttons!
The teeth of my zipper’ll eat’em like gluttons

Truth o’ the matter is that zippers are better
Zipping tight all those holes of a buttony sweater

Easy to fix when the seamin’ needs latchin’
Never the problem of colours mismatchin’

Buttons may fasten but they are not faster
Zippers are quicker and ya hardly need grasp’er

Easy to mix up and button uneven
And one side be flappin’ while other one’s freezin’!

There’s no doubt about it – it’s zippers I’m for!
Buttons have bored me since before the war!

Except when in church all the zippers are singin’
While buttoned up kids be quietude bringin’

I s’pose there’s a reason why buttons’ve lasted
And they look somethin’ pretty the colours contrasted

There is something ‘bout the freedom it brings
To button just one under bosoms and things

That hourglass shape can’t be got with a zipper
In fact I don’t know why zippers are hipper…

Let’s get some buttons to seal up this patch!
I heard the haberdashery has got a new batch!

Rub a dub dub – I’m not even joking

Are we having cyber sex right now?
Is that what this is?
Slipping into one of my virtual dental floss thongs?
Stroking protruding humps and lumps – some more rounded than others?
We Catholics are the least innocent - virtually.
We Catholics have the dirtiest thoughts.
Eating my Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookie – and imagining I am swirling
Something else around? -
In my mouth -
With my tongue -
Something of yours.
It’s where dreams happen.
Cyber dreams
Like being smooth and soft and tan
And like liquid.
Hyperflexed.
Seaward woosh-wooshing
Until the break of dawn.

Only it’s ten to two
And we’re in different cities
And I’m working
And you’re only paying attention to me
In my mind.

Our five minutes are up.
Back to the grind –
And I don’t mean the good kind.

Haiku

I tried to call you
And you answered the phone but
You were just not there.

i loyk yer naytcher

bacterial culture
bacterial culture
bacterial culture
probiotics

bacterial culture
bacterial culture

why must I eat thee?

cuz I got a yeast infection
and everyone says it’s preventative

for future yeast infections.

what i want to say to you but dont

when you ask me what i am spending all my time doing and jesus christ why dont i read more and for petes sake when am i going to finish my degree i want to say soon soon soon but i know that is not true and its not honest either because really in my mind i would rather quit everything and become an amateur naturopath and open a business on the ground floor of an old house i will buy on p.e.i. and i will truly help people with stomach pains headaches obesity physical and mental trauma and maybe even learning disabilities and i will garner a reputation and i wont need to advertise anymore and i will be known as the medicine lady but the truth is that probably wont happen because i dont hate what i am doing right now i just hate how you keep such a close eye on me and if what i produce is half-assed then so be it i can live with that because to answer your question i spend most of my time talking to friends and hugging and kissing and cuddling my love and im fine with that type of expenditure of time and i dont think its a waste and actually i think its the very best way in the world to spend my time because what if i died tomorrow and god asked me what i did with my life and i said i read books all day and we both agreed that was bullshit and that there were more important things i could have been doing like being with my people and expressing love.

the counter

the woman behind me
put her things on the counter.

so i moved everything
i had just bought.

and the clerk passed her stuff
through the beeping counter

and it leaned against
my stuff at the end

and i was stressed
and blushing

so I got the hell out of there
but i forgot my keys

on that stressful counter
and wonder if she took them.

microsoft word

it's not a favour
if i didn't want it
it's not
helping me out
to change my words around.

i had an education
or whatever they call it
and i understood
the point
of it all.

there's no need then
to capitalize.
my words.
automatically.

to underline
stuff you don't like.

to pop up.

to point out
what you call
grammatical
errors.

cause in my mind
it's impolite
to assume
i don't know what i'm doing

so back off.